286 - Transformations

October 30, 2002

The bronchitis that plagued me at the beginning of the month unmasked a new diagnosis: pulmonary hypertension. It is an expected consequence of the many chemotherapy and radiation treatments that cured my cancer so many years ago. That's the bad news. The good news: there is a new medication for this condition. I start it today. I am buoyed by hope.

Two Hundred Eighty-Six

Transformations

The intricacies of illness confront me,
Treatment consequences engender change;
My existence proves Your vigilance, Holy One,
You do not abandon me to despair.

You knew me when my body danced,
When my breath sustained constant song;
I have mourned these losses, I can smile at memory,
I still delineate my future.

You gentle me to adjustments,
A different bit between my teeth;
My struggles cease as You calm me to acceptance,
You give me rein to choose another gait.

There is luck in challenges, a mazal, a star,
Illumination formed of broken fragments;
You help me piece them in new constellations,
You light the purpose of my survival.

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